-- 2 hours before the CCHL Championship Parade --

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome our special guest host for this press conference..."

**Music starts blasting: https://youtu.be/eX_k5_egUAo?si=HLwP5SkOOZrZIe8m **

HH - "Whatcha gonnnnnnna dooo brother when the Tampa Bay Lightning runnn willddddddd on you!?!? Well I guess we saw what they will do in these playoffs! I can tell ya one thing brother, those players ate their vitamins and said their prayers because that was a team of destiny. That was like me and the Macho Man when we were the Mega Powers. That was like when I teamed up with Ultimate Warrior. That was like the NWO. **Hulk today isn't about you** Oh sorry brother let me get back to the champs. Tampa Bay, I got three chairs up here, are you ready to meet our first two guests??? Let me introduce to you, none other than my two brothers, and leaders of the CCHL Champs, GM Mike Ostrom and Assistant GM Chad Scanlan"

** Sexy Sax Man comes out and plays https://youtu.be/9fqsukliGYw?si=H5sLrq-oLxDXkGpk. **

AGMCS - "What a fuckin song to enter to. Just sounds like making love. In fact, that's the song we played after every playoff win when we were making love to the wives of the other teams. Memories."

Reporter - "Chad, when did you become AGM for the Lightning and what are your duties??"

AGMCS - "Ya know what's a lost art these days, investigative reporting. Big Mike over here hired me the day he started and you ding bats never even noticed. I'm surprised you found the door to this press conference! My duties are simple. I manage Mikes social media. I create some memes and gifs for him. I work his tinder. I make sure the players have all the social items they need. I tell Mike what trades not to make. It's not every day you have a tandem like us with so many finals appearances. I fake his signature for fan mail. It's a tough ass job that I get done from the beach. So I wouldn't mind if ya backed off. Before I hand it over for questions, which we will only take 3 because we are half in the bag and have a lot more to go, I'm going to pass it over to our fearless leader, the first 2 team/2 time champion, the holder of the best playoff record in one season in league history, GM Mike Ostrom"

GMMO - "Thanks Chad, you know when I took this job, I had to bring you in. The way you stacked those Flames teams back in the day and supplied them with all the candy they needed, I knew you would be a perfect fit for this star studded roster. You also handle the socials unlike any other. Thanks to the win, you get a 2 million dollar raise. Atta boy. Some people say I don't deserve this cup because it's not my team, and to them I say Chad's going to block you on Twitter. Sure I didn't build this core, but I got them the support pieces, the training, and the fuckin cocaine to power through the playoff like they did. They didn't sleep the whole time I kid you not. Sometimes it takes the smarter man not to blow the thing up, and just tweak what's right in front of you. Some key moves made this team the fuckin Globetrotters of the league, and it was amazing to watch. Those games already have more replays online than Mia Khalifa can even dream of. So ya, I'm proud of everything that team did, and il pat us on the shoulders as well for getting us over the mountain. Now you know I'm not fully evil right, and you are probably wondering why there is a third chair out here. Well I would love to welcome out as a showing of appreciation Mr Chris Bates"

** The Rolling Stones play https://youtu.be/Ef9QnZVpVd8?si=9gXDu1mY-bVfsa9B **

GMMO - "Chris, you built one hell of a squad here and should have had a win of your own in past seasons. On behalf of the Team we want to thank you for your hard work, and on behalf of me I want to thank Simon T for causing you a mental breakdown and rage quit, it's the only way I got the gig. We would like to present you with your CCHL ring, a custom jersey with the name "Winner" on the back and the number 1/2, and a bobble head of Jack Eichel."

HH - "What a moment brother, that felt like the time at WrestleMania at the Superdome ** Ask the audience for questions Hulk! ** Oh right. We got time for 1-2-3 questions! See what I did there? First you baldy in the front."

Reporter - "Mike what's the chance you guys repeat again next year?"

GMMO - "Nothing harder to do. We are the fuckin best and everyone wants a piece. Every game someone will try to hurt us. Plus we're gonna be on a bender all fuckin summer so the start of the season will be messy too. But let me tell you, if we make the playoffs, Chad has our dealer on "speed" dial." ** Chad winks and gives the hand pistol gesture**

HH - "Question 2 goes to cleavage over along the side"

Reporter - "What's the biggest tip you can give to other GMs in the league?"

GMMO - "Be patient, don't panic, find what works and work it. Also don't have a shit roster. Want to know about the tip I can give you?"

HH - "Final question, jacked looking guy in the middle"

Reporter - "Do you plan on signing any big max deal contracts soon, and do you have another position open?"

GMMO - "Sumit is that you?? Of course you can have a job on my team my man. Def not Director of Cap Compliance, but I think we need a new team photographer after those recent pics got leaked. Talk to Chado and we will get you all set up. Alright folks, were off to get plastered, see you next season!!"

Quick shout-out to Russ for making the off season fly by with minimal headaches. With that being said its time for my bold predictions for this season. Starting in the east

1. New Jersey 2. Tampa 3. NYI 4. Quebec 5. Washington 6. Boston 7. Carolina 8. Toronto 9. Columbus LOL 10. Ottawa 11. Pittsburgh 12. Montreal 13. Detriot 14. Buffalo 15. Philly 16.NYR

Takeaways from the east: Ottawa will struggle with Staal trying to replace Crosby, Rangers easily finish 16th as their roster is a tire fire, Columbus fades down the stretch to finish 9th, NJ easily wins the presidents trophy and could set the CCHL regular season points total, Carolina finally gets the simon T make a wish playoff appearance. Now lets do the West.

1. Vegas 2. Colorado 3. LA 4. Anaheim 5. Chicago 6. Nashville 7. Vancouver 8. Calgary 9. St. Louis 10. Dallas 11. Seattle 12. Arizona 13. Winnipeg 14. San Jose 15. Edmonton 16. Minnesota

Take aways from the Weaker West. Who cares.. GO EAST GO 

Stanley cup Final: Tampa vs Anaheim with Tampa winning and repeating in 5 games. 

Atlantic Division 

1)Tampa 2) Ottawa 3) Quebec 

Metro Division 

1) New Jersey 2) Washington 3) Carolina 

Wildcards  1) Boston 2) Columbus 

Russ Walsh Divison 

1) Chicago 2) St. Louis 3) Nashville 

Pacific Division 

1) Calgary 2) LA  3) Vegas

Wildcards 1) Colorado 2) Vancouver 

Stanley Cup Final 1) New Jersey vs Calgary (New Jersey wins 4-2)

GM of the Year : Steph Villneauve 

League MVP: Steven Stamkos 

Norris: Drew Doughty 

Vezina: Darcy Kuemper

Playoff MVP: Taylor Hall 

Boston, Mass

The Bruins are Deftones fans. They play their song's before and after most games. This is not news to anyone. They LOVE them. However after game 4 of their opening round series vs Quebec, which ofcourse was the finishing touch on being swept into the offseason, the B's had a certain song on repeat. A Deftones song no less. Change (In the house of flies). A mega hit for the NuMetal rockers off 2000's White Pony. Maybe it wasn't playing from their deathly quiet locker room but its fair to say it was ringing in the ears of management and players as they embarked on a longer than expected summer. I mean, its a great song but man were the Bruins hoping for more. Thus, changes were made. Starting with multi Norris trophy winner Erik Karlsson. He returns to Ottawa as the Bruins welcome back Torey Krug and add top six winger Tomas Tatar. The B's feel Krug isn't far off the player EK was for them. The newly rerated McAvoy will also look to cement himself as the new leader on D. Tatar finalizes a top six group that was always one scorer short. The feel good reunion with Milan Lucic is the other game changing trade GM Grant pulled the trigger on early. Losing a young scorer in DeBrusk wasn't ideal but adding Lucic improves the B's immediately.  The bottom six got revamped almost completely via trades, buyouts and FA. The early and unexpected retirement of Tuukka Rask is what leaves the Bruins the most vulnerable however. Linus Ullmark and Andrew Hammond will look to split starts between the pipes. Its a big transition year and time will tell ofcourse but change in the house of...Bee's..was expected.

IN: Torey Krug, Tomas Tatar, LUCIC, JVR, Chris Wagner, Gabriel Dumont, Byron Froese, Petr Straka, AJ Greer,  Andrej Sekera, Matt Grzelcyk, Andrew Hammond

OUT: Erik Karlsson, Tuukka Rask, Jake DeBrusk, David Perron, Nate Schmidt, Jack Dougherty, Nick Bonino, Adam McQuaid, Chris Terry, Miles Wood, Tomas Nosek, Craig Smith

Here are some bold predictions for this upcoming season.

Season Standings:

Atlantic: 1) Ottawa 2) Tampa Bay 3) Boston

Metro: 1) New Jersey 2) Pittsburgh 3) Carolina

Wild Cards: Washington / Detriot 

Central: 1) St. Louis 2) Nashville 3) Chicago 

Atlantic: 1) Vegas 2) Edmonton 3) Calgary

Wild Cards: Anaheim / Los Angeles 

Presidents Trophy: Vegas Golden Knights (weak west) 

Stanley Cup Final: Ottawa vs Vegas / Ottawa wins 4-3 

Playoff MVP: JT Miller 

Regular Season Awards: 

Season MVP: Brad Marchand

Norris: Shea Weber

Vezina: Jake Otteniger

Calder: Filip Zadina 

GM of the year: Stefan (EDM)

Lottery Winner: Minnesota 

We're down to the elite, the no doubt contenders. Here's how I rank the top 8.

8. Chicago Blackhawks: It's been an impressive run of regular season success, and the Hawks have the pieces to continue that with M Tkachuk, Gaudreau, Monahan, Atkinson, Schultz and Spurgeon. Will the finally break through in the playoffs and raise the Cup?

7. Buffalo Sabres: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. That approach has gone well for every Buffalo GM so far. And the top of the lineup definitely isn't broke with O'Reilly, Toffolli, Benn, Carlson and Ekman-Larsson always pushing this team into contention.

6. Pittsburgh Penguins: They won the Cup recently, they won their division this last season, and they remain a threat to win it all. The depth is very good, and Crosby, Granlund and Jones remain elite players.

5. Vegas Golden Knights: Greg has a nice collection of star players with a crazy top six (Marchand, Panarin, Pasternak, Zibanejad, Point, Guentzel), Heiskanen leading the backend, and Vasi in nets. No doubt a contender.

4. Anaheim Ducks: Right now they're on top of the world, and they could be the first team to go back to back. The pieces are all still in place.

3. New Jersey Devils: Solid top to bottom already, and somehow they added solid middle six forwards in FA. Somehow they also have Vancouver's first pick. If Zach continues to trade for lotto picks every year we'll probably see him win the Cup AND draft first overall one of these seasons.

2. Calgary Flames: That roster is still so stacked. So much talent from top to bottom. It'd be shocking to see them miss the playoffs. Can they go on another run? Maybe win it all this time?

1. Tampa Bay Lightning: Chris built the team that won the first 2 President's trophy and he's never looked back. He hasn't won the Cup yet, but he's been a contender every season. One look at his roster leaves no doubt that he is one of the biggest threats again.

The Quebec Nordiques, who are coming off their worst season in franchise history, finished dead last in the Eastern Conference with only 61 points, and their record of 27-48-7 saw them land only in front of the San Jose Sharks in the Year 9 final standings. While scoring only 207 goals, 3rd last in the league and also giving up the 6th most goals at 268, their -61 goal differential left them the 3rd highest in the league. At a press conference held earlier this morning, GM Walsh was grilled with questions surrounding not only the future of the franchise, but his being on the hot seat as well:

Reporter: This is your 3rd straight season finishing outside of the playoffs and historically was your team’s worst season ever. What changes have you made in the offseason to correct this sinking ship and bring some hope back into the fans, along with insuring job security for yourself?

Walsh: Last season is exactly that: last season. Do you know why rear view mirrors are so small? Because what’s ahead of you is bigger than what’s behind you. We here in the Nordiques organization aren’t overly pleased with the way things worked out last season and are we where we want to be to begin Year 10? Nope, but we are closing in on some very exciting times here for our fans. Your question was about what we did in the offseason, but our changes started with a couple key trades prior to the deadline, bringing in 2 key veterans Jonathan Toews and Brandon Dubinsky, with the latter re-signing a one year deal worth $1,750,000. This really put into motion what, or should I say who our focus was during free agency. As for my own job security, my chair is no warmer today than it was when I left it after game 82 last year.

Reporter: Let’s talk about that focus of free agency. Of the top 3 guys available you were able to land Patrick Kane with max term and salary at 6 years for $14,000,00. Do you feel like by missing out on…

Walsh: Let me stop you there. We didn’t miss out on anyone. We spoke to Connor’s camp, and we gave him an offer. But we didn’t miss. We struck gold in getting Patrick Kane. McDavid is phenomenal, there’s no doubting that, but what this organization wanted was someone who could come in and play on the right side with Toews. He adds 30 plus goals to our lineup. That’s not a miss by any means.

Reporter: Last question. The Rielly trade raised some eyebrows. Trading away a captain      generally doesn’t go over well, but this one seemed to be to the liking of some fans. What do you feel the addition of Josh Manson does for this team?

Walsh: Toughness and grit. He’s not here to score, he’s here to defend. He’s a big body, stay at home type of guy who also isn’t afraid to jump into the play. We expect him to play about 18-20 minutes a night, so he will be heavily relied upon to shut down the oppositions top lines. But the real key to that trade for us was the acquisition of our 1st round pick in next years draft. It’s always nice to have that sitting in your cupboard come deadline day. Hopefully we don’t have it come draft day.

YEAR 10 DRAFT

Shortly before the playoffs ended, the Nordiques prepared themselves for the CCHL Draft Lottery. Going in they had the 2nd best odds for winning. Unfortunately, like the season before them had gone, they slipped down two spots and got to pick 4th overall. Quebec had four picks in this year’s draft, with two 1st and two 2nd round picks:

4th Overall – Logan Stankoven (C/RW)

20th Overall – Ethan Cardwell (RW)

34th Overall – Ryder Korczak (C)

53rd Overall – Taige Harding (D)

Shortly after the draft completed, the Nordiques announced they traded their 2nd round pick in year 13 for the Kings 44th overall pick, Francesco Arcuri.

FREE AGENCY, AHL GRADUATES, TRADES

With the only Pro signing during the NHL free agency period being Patrick Kane, the Nordiques look internally for some extra help with 3 players graduating from the CCAHL affiliate Quebec Citadelles;

Tanner Kero – 4th line defensive forward who will see time on the penalty kill. Kero already has NHL experience, playing in 292 games.

Reece Willcox – steady 3rd line pairing, who surprised management last year putting up 12 goals while adding 44 assists for 56 points.

Filip Zadina – look for him to begin the season on the top line after scoring 35 goals in 75 games played split between the Roadrunners and the Citadelles 

Other depth signings include:

Klye Clifford, Luke Gazdic, Dmytro Timashov, Parker Wotherspoon, and Bobby McMann

Through trades, the Nordiques have added Josh Manson, Cole Perfetti, Nicolas Petan, Evgeniy Oksentyuk, Noel Hoefenmayer, along with their year 11 1st round pick. Going the other way, Quebec sent out Morgan Rielly, Ivan Barbashev, Arthur Kaliyev and prospect Jack Beck.

As GM Walsh said, these are some exciting, but also tense times for Nordiques fans. They are hungry to watch their team compete and become a solid playoff contender. The critics have them slated to finish bottom of the pile again this season, but with optimism surrounding the organization, we expect to see them finish just outside of the playoffs. Only time and 82 games played can tell the tale.

Everyone we are looking at now should be gunning for a playoff spot. They won't all make it, some may even fall out of the race early (hopefully it's not my turn again), but anything short of at least being in the race until the end would be a disappointment.

19. Edmonton Oilers: I've been too high on the Oilers before, so I'll be cautiously optimistic. They should at least be in the fight until the end like this last season. If things go right they could end up near the top. Oettinger is a budding star, and there are a lot of pieces in place.

18. Ottawa Senators: Two seasons ago they won the President's, last season they weren't even in the race (though they finished strong). Who knows where they'll end up this season, but they should at least bounce back enough to be in the race until close to the end.

17. Nashville Predators: They squeaked into the playoffs last season, but they aren't the juggernaut they once were. They've definitely got what it takes to make the playoffs, but they aren't a sure thing.

16. Washington Capitals: The impressive run of playoff appearances and contention came to an end last season, but if I were a betting man I'd put my money on it being a 1 season anomaly. They have plenty of star power and depth. They should make the playoffs, but last season has let the doubt in.

15. Seattle Kraken: They won the Cup... Then missed the playoffs. A lot of the pieces from the championship team are still in place, but not all. A return to the playoffs seems like a reasonable bounceback.

14. Detroit Red Wings: 2 consecutive playoff appearances have proven I was probably underestimating them in the past. I don't think they are heavyweights, but they should expect to be fighting for a spot at the least.

13. Toronto Maple Leafs: They really went for it with Connor McDavid added as a rental last season, but were stopped by the Philadelphia Old Stars Flyers. They still have a lot of the pieces that made them a cup threat, but McDavid is hard to replace. Maybe another rental can push them into the heavyweight territory.

12. Los Angeles Kings: LA seems to have turned a corner. I considered them as overachieving last season, but I think their off season moves make it repeatable. Pietrangelo is a big addition.

11. Philadelphia Flyers: The Flyers were saved by others from Brent Burns's dead cap space, they then showed us they learned nothing from it and gave Ovie big money that they would carry if he retired. The result? A conference finals appearance, and you can't argue with results. You also have to respect a team with Ovechkin, Malkin, Marner, Kopitar and Josi. Until some of them retire or leave the Flyers should be a playoff team.

That was painful to write.

10. Arizona Coyotes: Before free agency, they were one of teams I had pegged for a big regression. Don't get me wrong, I definitely thought they were getting good and going in the right direction, but I expected less points this coming season. Enter Connor McDavid. That defense is still suspect if you ask me. But it's Connor McDavid damn it!

9. Boston Bruins: Patrice Bergeron's retirement, and to a lesser extent Zach Parise's retirement, hurts. But they can still count on Erik Karlsson and Tuukka Rask. The Bruins are one of the few teams who've found a way almost every season. Their Stanley Cup is starting to get further in the rear view mirror, but you have to respect their ability to be good every year.

Only 4 teams are featured here. It's a group squeezed in the middle in my eyes, maybe don't trade your 1st, then again maybe of you trade it you push yourself into that playoff spot.

23. New York Islanders: The Isles had been competitive for a long time. Then McDavid decided he wanted to go to Arizona, probably for the crowds and atmosphere. There is still a lot of depth, and adding Byfuglien and Samsonov is what saves this team from being a tier lower. This could go either way, but I'd put my money on them missing the playoffs.

22. Carolina Hurricanes: Getzlaf and Doughty are stars, but it feels like the Canes could really use another star forward... Or defenseman... Or a guy that can play forward and defense. A Brent Burns type if you will. Anyways, if all goes right they could be in the playoff race again, but I wouldn't count on it.

21. Colorado Avalanche: The Avs are solid all around and have good depth, but they also don't have a true high end player. If everyone chips in, they could be looking at a playoff spot... If not, it could be a tough season.

20. St Louis Blues: It's a power rankings tradition to make Derek upset. If Kuemper is as upset as Derek was about the Vezina maybe he carries this team to the playoffs. It's not a bad team with a lot of solid pieces, but there are rumors of the team's lone star, PK Subban, being on the block. This could really go either way; the basement or another playoff birth are possible.

This is part 1, also known as the "don't trade your first round pick" section. It's good advice, believe me. I traced the 3rd overall pick for Dylan Strome, so I would know.

32. Dallas Stars: There isn't much to like for now here. They struck out in FA and Morgan Rielly can only do so much on his own. The good news: lots of decent prospects in the pipeline, and on top of having their own first, they have Minny's.

31. New York Rangers: No one needs a lotto win as much as the Rangers. They have futures, lots of prospects, but no one stands out as the kind of game changer to lead the franchise back to relevance.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets: Robertson, Beniers, Jack and Quinn Hughes, Fox, Mittlestadt, Necas, Kyrou, Stützle, Hart, Wallstedt... Columbus fans have a lot to be excited about, the future just isn't here yet. Give it a couple seasons, and in the meantime they could add another top prospect or two.

29. Minnesota Wild: Jarry and DeBrincat will have to really shine if they are to make any noise. Pinto could eventually help, but they need more top end help still.

28. San Jose Sharks: The rebuild isn't over, and Byfield and Pettersson can only carry them so far. A lot of pieces are already in place however, with Guenther, Zegras, Lundell, Cossa and Berggren in the prospect pool.

27. Vancouver Canucks: Will adding Elias Lindholm finally unlock Kyle Connor's scoring ability? It better, because Patrick Kane's addition last season is looking worse every time you think about it. I would tell you to keep your 1st, Dave, but it's just good advice too late.

26. Quebec Nordiques: Adding Patrick Kane was huge, but how far can he and Toews carry the Nords? The Nords have depth and futures, like Perfetti, Othmann and Peterka, but I'm not convinced they are ready to climb the standings yet.

25. Montreal Canadiens: With Barkov, Hedman, Kaprizov and Klingberg, it's easy to imagine this team exceeding expectations and squeezing into the playoffs. However their track record and the fact that so many other teams are just as good or better on paper makes it hard to rank them higher.

24. Winnipeg Jets: The Jets have found a way to mostly be competitive and fight for a playoff spot during the season. Looking at the roster however and I don't have high expectations. Maybe they prove me wrong again. Sorry Duran.